Teens And Therapy FAQ

Q1. My parents are making me go to therapy. I'm afraid that the therapist will tell my parents what I say in session.

A1. What you tell me is confidential. I cannot break your confidence without your permission. I WILL NOT (REPEAT) WILL NOT tell your mom you called her a b**ch in session, that your brother thinks he's gay, or that you think grandma is really crazy and not just "eccentric".

Q2. Are there any situations when you can break confidentiality?

A2. Only if you are a threat to yourself or someone else, or if I believe you are being abused.

Example: "I'm so angry at Susie Jones that she stole my boyfriend. I went and got a gun and I'm going to shoot her at school tomorrow."

By law, I must warn Susie and notify the police.

Example: "I want to kill myself. There are train tracks behind my house and I'm going to walk in front of the next train."

I will call 911 or advise your parents to take you to the nearest emergency room.

Example: "My mom's boyfriend has been molesting me."

I will call the police and DCFS and report child abuse. However, BEFORE I DISCLOSE ANYTHING TO ANYONE I WILL DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU so you know what's going on.

Q3. If I tell you that I smoke pot, or that I'm sexually active, will you tell my parents?

A3. Generally, no. I cannot break confidentiality unless there is a safety issue. For example, if your drug use is at a point where your life is at serious risk and you need to be hospitalized, I will need to raise this issue with them so you can be safe and get the care you need. If you are engaging in sex where you're being exploited or abused, I am obligated to help you be safe. That may mean telling the authorities and/or your parents. However, BEFORE I DISCLOSE ANYTHING TO ANYONE I WILL DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU and we will disclose this information together in session.

Q4. Are you going to side with my parents because you and they are adults?

A4. I don't like to "side" with anybody. My goal is to help you and your parents work through your differences, understand each other better, and learn healthier ways of acting and interacting. I'm not there to be anybody's "rubber stamp". Quite often, both parents and teens need help in making positive changes.

Q5. I want to go to therapy, but I can't tell my parents. My dad is a screaming, violent drunk. My mom won't do anything to challenge my dad. They are against sharing things with "outsiders." They say "what happens at home stays at home." Can I get counseling without anyone telling my parents?

A5. Under Illinois law, minor children between ages 12-17 can get therapy WITHOUT THEIR PARENTS' CONSENT. They can receive up to five sessions, lasting up to 45 minutes each. I cannot bill the parents for these sessions, but I may charge the teen a reduced rate based upon their age and earnings (if any). After five sessions, I must obtain the parent's consent in order to continue treatment. If the teen doesn't give me permission to contact their parents for consent, then I must discontinue treatment. I have seen 2 teens under these circumstances. At the fifth session, they allowed me to contact their parents for consent. One set of parents gave consent and treatment continued. Parents can surprise teens by being pleased their kids took the initiative to "get themselves straightened out". Even some very resistant parents can be persuaded to allow the teen access to therapy because it's in the teen's best interests.